What if your wild idea no longer brings you joy? Retired pro skier, Grace Miller, is intimately familiar with a change of course. Grace grew up in Alaska and started skiing at a young age. Before she was out of high school, she was recruited to compete at the highest level, but at age 23 after competing on the world stage, Grace decided to leave skiing behind to pursue some new wild ideas.
What if your wild idea no longer brings you joy?
Retired pro skier, Grace Miller, is intimately familiar with a change of course. Grace grew up in Alaska and started skiing at a young age. Before she was out of high school, she was recruited to compete at the highest level, but at age 23 after competing on the world stage, Grace decided to leave skiing behind to pursue some new wild ideas.
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Shelby Stanger:
On this podcast, we talk to a lot of professional athletes and adventurers who are performing at the highest level. But what happens when that commitment no longer brings them joy? Leaving behind a sport that has been a major part of their identity can be tough to reconcile.
Grace Miller:
People aren't one dimensional. It's so easy for people to get labeled as an athlete, as an artist, as a singer. But people are so much more than that. We all have different passions and hobbies. And we have multiple of those,.and it's totally okay if you're giving up one passion because you're going to find something else in life.
Shelby Stanger:
Retired pro skier, Grace Miller, is intimately familiar with this change of course. Grace grew up in Alaska and started skiing at a young age. Before she was out of high school, she was recruited to compete at the highest level, but at age 23. After competing on the world stage, grace decided to leave skiing behind to pursue some new wild ideas. I'm Shelby Stanger, and this is Wild Ideas Worth Living. An REI Co-op Studios production brought to you by Capital One.
Grace Miller skis with one pole. She was born with a limb difference and her left arm ends just a few inches below her elbow. Growing up in Alaska Grace spent many weekends skiing with her mom and competing on her high school ski team.
Grace Miller, welcome to Wild Ideas Worth Living.
Grace Miller:
Hello.
Shelby Stanger:
We're excited to have you. And this is your first podcast, so congratulations.
Grace Miller:
Yeah, I'm excited.
Shelby Stanger:
You're an athlete. You started as a Paralympic cross-country skier, which is pretty badass. How did you find cross-country skiing?
Grace Miller:
Yeah, so actually my mom used to be the U.S biathlon coach. So, I've been skiing. I was originally adopted from China when I was three years old. And then as soon as she adopted me, she put me on skis. So, I've been cross-country skiing since I was like three years old.
Shelby Stanger:
For people who don't know, you're born without a left forearm?
Grace Miller:
Yeah, I was born without my left forearm. I'm about three inches past my elbow. So, I'm what is called a below elbow amputee. And it's apparently happens within the first couple weeks of conception, is that when you're firstborn, you're just a little bundle fibers. And then one of the fibers accidentally got caught around what would've been my arm and amputated it really early on.
Shelby Stanger:
Tell me how that's affected your skiing.
Grace Miller:
Really not that much. I just ski with one pole. I have my right hand and that's it. But all the time I get asked, "Oh, how do you do this with one hand?" And I'm just like, I don't know. This has been my whole entire life. I don't know anything different. The idea of having two hands is just so foreign to me.
Shelby Stanger:
So, what was a typical day like for you growing up?
Grace Miller:
Typical day is going to school. And no matter what, school never got canceled. We could get 10 inches of snow and it wouldn't get canceled. So, I'd go to school and then I'd go to ski practice afterwards. I skied in high school for two years, my freshman and sophomore year for our high school team. And it was really fun, but back then I was still trying to ski with two poles. So, I actually wear a prosthetic. And we had a prosthetic adapter that could hold a pole, and we were still trying to figure that out. And I was just so frustrated on trying to ski with two poles in high school. It just wasn't working just because if you think about it, there's so many wrist movements that you have.
Especially if you think about poling, you plant in and then you are going to release it with your wrist and then pull it back and it's just, that's really hard to replicate with the prosthetic. So, I stopped my junior year of high school skiing completely just because I was so done with it. And then ironically, actually during that year, I got recruited to the U.S Paralympic Ski team. And then in the Paralympics, you aren't allowed to ski with any extra equipment, so I wasn't allowed to ski with a prosthetic anyway. And I realized it's just so much easier to ski without a prosthetic.
Shelby Stanger:
Any memorable moments of competing that you can share?
Grace Miller:
Oh my goodness. There's so many moments of competing. Almost every single one of my races after I would finish, I would just cry. Not for any particular reason, but just because I think I'm just so emotionally and physically drained. When I was racing in Canmore, Canada, which we would always do a training camp in the fall there and we'd go there for a month because Canada always gets snow first. I remember we were skiing on this race-course and there were deer running across the race-course. And they were so worried about one of the deer running to the skiers. They were trying to make sure no one got hit by a deer, which is so funny.
Shelby Stanger:
Yeah. What do you see when you cross-country ski? That's not a sport that I've done too much. I did it a little bit when I lived in Breckenridge, Colorado. And for years I've been a runner. And I just loved it. But it is unlike a lot of sports. Talk to me about it.
Grace Miller:
Yeah, no, I think one really cool thing about cross-country skiing is that I'll be able to do this for the rest of my life. And it's just really peaceful to just be out in nature surrounded by snow-covered trees. And you get so addicted to the sound of crisp snow of perfectly groomed trails. It sounds so good.
Shelby Stanger:
And I imagine in Alaska there weren't a lot of people who had limb difference like you did.
Grace Miller:
No, not at all, really. I remember I went to my first World Cup in Canmore Canada. And that was the first time that I had ever seen anyone else with one hand was when I was 18. And it was just mind-blowing to me because I was like, is that what I look like? Because oddly enough, that even though I've had one hand my whole entire life, I still myself with two hands. When I was in elementary school, kids would ask me what happened to my hand, and I started telling them that I got attacked by a bear.
Shelby Stanger:
That's tough. You would've been Alaska.
Grace Miller:
I know. So, I remember I got called into the principal's office. My mom was there. And the principal was like, "Did she actually get attacked by a bear?" And my mom was like, "No, she was born with one hand," and he's like, "She's scaring all the kids at school. They don't want to go out to recess. They're afraid of getting attacked by a bear." But it was just so great to meet people that their limb differences because it's just like an instant bond because we know what it's like. If you don't have a disability and you see someone on the street with a disability, do not ask them about it. It's not something you need to know. I have a whole bunch of friends with missing limbs and stuff that I still don't know how they got that because it doesn't really matter. It's just who you are and you don't really need to know.
Shelby Stanger:
With Grace's skiing talent, it didn't take long for her to get noticed on an international level. She was only a junior in high school when she was recruited to the U.S Paralympics Ski team. She couldn't even legally vote yet. Within a year of joining the team, grace was traveling around the world competing. In 2018, she attended the Olympics in Pyeongchang. And in 2022 she competed in the Olympics In Beijing.
You were recruited when you're in high school. I'm just really curious what it was like to get recruited. Because that's a big thing.
Grace Miller:
Yeah. I think I am honestly in a very niche field. I am a female cross-country skier with one hand. And cross-country skiing in general isn't that big of a sport. So, that definitely helped a lot, which is why I was an easy recruit. And since I've been skiing since I was three, I know how to ski. Obviously I've improved since I've been on the team. But I knew I had a good baseline to improve upon. And it was really exciting and it allowed me to ski in college, which was really cool. Which is something I never even dreamed about was being a collegiate athlete. So, yeah.
Shelby Stanger:
Amazing. So, when they actually did ask you to join Team USA, was that an easy yes for you? Or did you have to think about it?
Grace Miller:
No, it was definitely immediate yes. I was like, "Absolutely." But the thing about me is that it was never really a dream of mine. It was something that I didn't ever really think about or even know about until junior year of high school until I got told about it. I grew up in Alaska, really small farmer town vibes. Not very much going on. So, I think because of that, it was actually really healthy for me because when I did get recruited, I was actually mentally, I think, pretty healthy because I hadn't really been in a competitive sports environment like that. So, the first couple years was definitely getting used to all of that. And then the past couple years, I've definitely been able to fill those shoes that I was representing Team USA and stuff like that.
Shelby Stanger:
What was it like to actually go to the Olympics?
Grace Miller:
Oh my goodness, I'm very lucky and I was able to go to two Paralympic games. So, Pyeongchang, I got told a month before that I was going. And I had literally just got recruited to the Paralympic team that spring. I didn't know what I was doing. I hadn't even trained for a year. I thought there was just this fun group I was joining, not really quite understanding what was happening. So, a month before in December, I got told that I got selected for the Paralympic team and I was going to go. And I was just this big dough idea. I was just like, what? And then I remember being stressed about school and I was like, I don't know if I can take that much time off of high school. And I remember doing chemistry in the Pyeongchang Village, because I still had to do homework. And they brought me that year just to be prepared for actually the Beijing games, just so that I would understand more of what was going on.
So, it was a great learning experience. I learned a lot. I got to meet all of Team USA, which was really cool. And the experience itself is just surreal. You get on a plane, you fly to some landing location like LA, and then you're in a hotel for a couple days. They outfit you with all of this free Team USA gear. And then they fly you off to wherever you're going, which is a 12 to 16 hour flight. And then it's just like everything is catered, there's free food everywhere. It is just surreal and everyone's like, I don't know, there's a Team USA hype. The thing about Beijing is that I was adopted from China when I was three years old. And I was actually adopted from Guangzhou, which is about I think an hour away from Beijing. And I hadn't ever been back. And Beijing was my first time going back in 20 years. So, it's a really surreal moment because I was adopted from China 20 years ago and now it's coming back for the first time to represent Team USA. So, it was a really cool moment.
Shelby Stanger:
What was that like for you?
Grace Miller:
I didn't think I was going to be emotional about it. But then as the plane was landing into Beijing, I just started crying. It was just so crazy because I was abandoned when I was a baby in China. And it's just all these fears of abandonment from a young age. But obviously, being adopted and coming to the US, I'm very well-loved and I have a great community of people. And I live a great life, which I'm very blessed to have. It was just crazy to think what my life could have been if I had stayed in China.
Shelby Stanger:
While Grace's first Olympic experience left her starry eyed, her second time around in Beijing was very different. So, different in fact that her time there planted a seed. She started to wonder if this was what she really wanted to do with her life. When we come back, Grace talks about how at age 23, she made the decision to retire from competitive skiing and what she's doing next.
In 2023 adaptive skier, Grace Miller, decided to leave professional athletics. She had traveled around the world competing at the highest level. But at age 23, after five years of giving it her all, Grace decided to retire. It was incredibly gutsy that she chose to follow her heart rather than the status quo. To onlookers, it seemed like her career had just begun. But for Grace, prioritizing her mental health was far more important than continuing on a path that wasn't fulfilling.
I'm really curious what it was like when you decided to stop being a professional skier, because that decision's really hard and you were really young when you made that.
Grace Miller:
Yeah, I think even though I'm so proud to be able to have represented Team USA and be on the US Paralympic team, it's never been the life goal of mine. I'm just very lucky and it's something that I happen to be pretty good at and be able to do. But I know my passion is to work in healthcare and I actually am applying to PA school right now.
Shelby Stanger:
Amazing.
Grace Miller:
Yeah, I'm hoping to go to grad school within the next year. And yeah, I think that that's the main reason I retired is just because I realized as much as I loved it, it wasn't my passion. And it was really hard to step back, especially being so young because most female athletes peak at 26 to 30. We just tend to mature older.
Shelby Stanger:
I'm sure that decision wasn't easy.
Grace Miller:
No, it definitely wasn't easy. But it was definitely the year after Beijing that games was really hard. We were going through a pandemic. Russia announced war on Ukraine. Russia got banned from the games while we were there. And it was just really hard because it wasn't like any of the other games. We were very much isolated. And even within Team USA, we weren't allowed to really mingle with each other because of the risk of getting COVID. The games is about bringing people together and showing our best. And just I feel like the bringing people together didn't happen. So, it was really hard on everyone. After Beijing, it was just like, wow, this is like, I just am putting my whole entire life into this. And as much as I love it, I don't see myself doing this. And I just realized I wasn't willing to devote my whole entire life into something that I didn't have a true passion for.
Shelby Stanger:
Did it take a while to get to that decision? Or did you just one day wake up and you're like, "I don't want to do this?"
Grace Miller:
No, it definitely took about a year. I started to get pulled into different things. I graduated college two years ago and then moved down to Bozeman, Montana to train with the team full time. And then after Beijing, I got really into rock climbing, and that was just so much fun. It's been such a joy for me to find a new sport that I can do that I don't have to be competitive in. Since people know me as a Paralympic cross country skier, they just think that I'm really good at it. Which, yeah, I am good at it, but I don't want to be competitive in it all the time. And it's just this set expectation to have. And with climbing, I was just this complete, no one knew me, I didn't know what I was doing. So, it's been really fun to be really bad at something, but to still be learning and be able to move my body in a completely different way.
Shelby Stanger:
Grace, I can relate a little bit in the sense that I was a really competitive soccer player. I was on the Olympic development team. And by the time I got to college, I was over it and burnout. And quitting, I thought, would disappoint my parents so much. I was so scared to quit the team. But I did. I discovered journalism and all these other things, and boys, and I was just not really that interested in playing soccer every day anymore.
Grace Miller:
Yeah. Yeah, I think the hardest thing for a lot of athletes is that all people are more than one dimension. And being an athlete, people tend to associate you with just being an athlete. And it's really scary to step away and be like, oh my goodness, am I losing my whole identity? But it's so not true. People have so many other passions and hobbies in life, and it's just realizing that you can't only do one thing.
Shelby Stanger:
Was it hard for you to come to terms with your identity after you quit? "Okay, now I'm Grace, but I'm not a professional skier Grace?"
Grace Miller:
Yeah. No, it's so really hard for me to do because all the time when people would meet me, they're like, "What do you do?" And I'm so used to saying, "Oh, I'm an athlete." And now when people ask me that, I'm just like, "I don't know what I do." I'm applying to grad school right now. I work full-time as a nurse aid, but just I feel like a lot of the things just don't quite represent me as well. So, it's just been really hard trying to figure out what I say to people.
But I think I know taking a step back from the team was definitely a right decision for me. I'm just so much happier overall because I'm able to do what I want when I want to. And I don't have to double check with a coach that it's okay if I leave for the weekend and miss practice. As a younger person, I felt like I was missing out a lot in life. And for some people it's really easy to give that up to be an athlete because they want that and have the drive for it. But I just honestly didn't have the drive for it anymore.
Shelby Stanger:
What have you learned about yourself in that time that you've left competition to just become Grace Miller, someone who enjoys sports?
Grace Miller:
Yeah. No, it's definitely been a big learning curve. And one thing I'm so grateful for with skiing is that it's made me a much more confident person than I was. I gained so much confident skiing for the first, I'd say even four years of my career. I felt imposter syndrome to the extreme. I was just like, everyone sees me as this really good skier, but in my eyes, I just wasn't. I just had this idea that in order for me to be good, I had to get first. And the mental aspect of being an athlete is really hard because honestly, a lot of your value to the team is what you're placing. So, it's really hard to separate. And I'm still working on that.
But taking a step back and retiring, I was really worried that I was going to lose a part of myself. I was like, I've been a professional athlete for the past five years. What am I going to do now? And it's just been so much fun to learn that I am so much more than an athlete. I love to be outside. I love to do little doodles and make cards for people. And I've been able to spend so much time making a community investment and being able to work with outside groups and volunteer, and work a 9:00 to 5:00 job. It's been fun.
Shelby Stanger:
Even though Grace has retired from life as a professional athlete, she's definitely still active in the outdoors. She's a Janji athlete and she's partnered with many other outdoor brands. When Grace isn't working full-time as a nurse's aide, she's outside trying new sports like cycling, climbing, and ultra running. Bozeman Montana is a haven for outdoor enthusiasts and Grace's community there has encouraged her to go after some new wild ideas.
So right now you're super into rock climbing. I am curious about that. And you have a limb difference. So, climbing people think it requires two hands.
Grace Miller:
Yeah.
Shelby Stanger:
So, tell me how you've adapted rock climbing to work for you.
Grace Miller:
Yeah, rock climbing was something I didn't even know I could physically do until two years ago that Mo Beck, she is the best one armed rock climber in our country right now. And she slid into my DMs and she's like, "Hey, Grace, do you want to come rock climbing? I'm in Bozeman Montana right now." And I'm like, "What?" I had followed her on Instagram for a really long time. But I don't know, I still didn't think it was possible for me to do it. So, I got to go climbing with her. And it was just like the best experience ever. Skiing is definitely an endurance sport, and rock climbing is an endurance sport, but not in the same way. And the finger muscles you need for rock climbing is just so hard. So, it's just so much fun to be able to move my body in a completely different way.
Shelby Stanger:
Tell me about this first time she took you rock climbing. What was it like? Where did you go? How did you do?
Grace Miller:
Yeah. We went to just our local gym here. It was an indoor gym. And it was the perfect place because everything is very safe. And it was a learning curve on how to use my left arm because usually it actually doesn't really do much honestly because I don't use it like a hand. And she taught me how to tape up my arm and everything so that I do wear a prosthetic. My arm is usually in a socket. So, I just taped it up so it wouldn't get absolutely destroyed by the rough texture of the rock holds and everything. And it was just thrilling to be able to learn something new. And to do something what I once thought was impossible for me to do and realize that it's very much possible for me to do. It was just so nice to be able to be in a new sport without expectations that I have to be good at it.
I love the mental challenge of rock climbing that as soon as you figure out the correct moves, it's really easy to do. But all the time I'll just be stuck on the wall. I'll be like, "I don't know how to do this. I can't do it." And then I'll just think about it for a little bit longer and then it's really easy to do. So, it's very much of more of like, I feel like an instant gratification than skiing. Because skiing, all we're honestly doing is just skiing in circles. It's just like, "Well, I think I skied that circle faster than the last one." Versus climbing is much more gratification because, "Oh, I just topped out on this climb." It's very obvious you're improving.
Shelby Stanger:
So, when did you start outdoor climbing?
Grace Miller:
I started outdoor climbing about a year ago. It just really makes two things that I really loved, which was climbing and being outside. And it's been so much fun to look at a random rock outside and be like, "I bet I could climb that." And I love the slower pace of climbing. That skiing it's kind of I feel like go, go, go. We're going to go ski for two hours, do this, keep moving the whole time, and then go home. Versus climbing is like, oh, we'll get to the crag at 12:00, maybe start climbing at 13:00. Do a couple climbs, and then go home. It's just much more casual.
Shelby Stanger:
It is pretty casual and it's a commitment. So, you're also a runner. Do you run for fun as well?
Grace Miller:
Yeah.
Shelby Stanger:
Or is that just casual? Do you compete?
Grace Miller:
I did my first 50K race this summer, which was really fun.
Shelby Stanger:
Yeah, that's no joke.
Grace Miller:
Yeah. Honestly, one the decisions I made when I retired from skiing was I signed up for 50K and I adopted a dog.
Shelby Stanger:
Okay.
Grace Miller:
Yeah, those are the two crazy things I did.
Shelby Stanger:
What made you decide to adopt a dog?
Grace Miller:
Honestly, because I wasn't getting outside as much as I was when I was training full-time with the team. And getting a dog has done exactly what I was hoping to do that now every time I get off of work, I'm like, well, I'd have to go for a run because Henry needs to go for a run.
Shelby Stanger:
Good for you. Any advice to other people who maybe want to give something up that seems amazing on paper but isn't serving them any longer and they're afraid to make that decision because it doesn't make sense on paper?
Grace Miller:
Yeah. I think what was easiest for me to think about is that people aren't one-dimensional. That it's so easy for people to get labeled as an athlete, as an artist, as a singer. But people are so much more than that. We all have different passions and hobbies. And we have multiple of those. And it's totally okay if you're giving up one passion because you're going to find something else in life.
Shelby Stanger:
Grace has learned that she's more than a professional skier. And now that she's retired, she's found new ways to fall in love with nature. If you don't follow Grace on Instagram already, I definitely recommend her page. She shares tons of great photos from her adventures and her captions are short and funny. Check it out @GraceMillerAK. That's G-R-A-C-E-M-I-L-L-E-R-A-K on Instagram. The weekend after this interview, Grace was planning on going ice climbing with past wild ideas guests, Vasu Sojitra. If you like this episode, you might like our conversation with Vasu as well. We'll have a link to it in our show notes.
Wild Ideas Worth Living is part of the REI Podcast network. It's hosted by me, Shelby Stanger, produced by Annie Fassler, Sylvia Thomas, and Sam Peers Nitzberg of Puddle Creative. Our senior producers are Jenny Barber and Hannah Boyd. Our executive producers are Paolo Motila and Joe Crosby. As always, we love it when you follow the show. Take time to rate it and write a review wherever you listen. And remember, some of the best adventures happen when you follow your wildest ideas.